Cadmium Orange Latté

Remember when summer used to mean something? No school...going on vacation...being exhausted by all the sleeping in...green hair from so much chlorine in the pool (maybe that was just me?). Being an adult has killed any happiness I once had in the summertime. I hate adult summer. It's an annoying, fat, sweaty man standing between me and autumn (the best season of all, clearly).

Maybe if I didn't live in Florida I would feel differently about summer. My positive outlook on life is directly related to the level of sweat I am experiencing at any given moment. My hair wasn't made for humidity (and if yours WAS, I probably don't like you). I don't like being surrounded by crowds of tourists reeking of sunscreen and body odor. I hate that Florida summer throws down pieces of hurricane every time I need to walk out to my car.

All of these confessions probably don't come as much of a shock, but there is one confession that generally does. Before you read on, remember that God made us all different for a reason, so don't hate me for having opinions.

I hate the beach.

CLARIFICATION: I like the beach when it's slightly chilly and I'm watching the sunrise on the east coast or the sunset on the west coast. A Florida sunrise or sunset is beautiful enough to make you cry. Watching the sun sink into the ocean or slowly wake up from out of it is inspirational enough to make you re-evaluate all your priorities in life (or at least inspire you to sing the opening song from The Lion King). Walking along the edge of the water with rolled up jeans and a hoodie is a dream. BONUS: the sand exfoliates my feet. It's like the beach wants me to have flip-floppable feet. I oblige.

However, between 9am-ish and 5pm-ish (the ocean's business hours are similar to that of man), I despise the beach. Despiiiiiise. No matter what, I end up with salt in my eyes, sand in my mouth, some part of my body burnt, I'm coerced into wearing less clothing than I want to wear, I see others wearing less clothing than I want THEM to wear...it's just awful. Last time I went to the beach, I suffered my first bout of heatstroke! I lost the ability to see, hear, or stand. Three things that I do with regularity. So...what part of sitting in hot dirt is fun?

But now...September is here! Thus the reason I'm currently sipping on my third pumpkin spice latte this week while planning my fourth. As a designer and creative-type, I must commend autumn for having the best color scheme. Yellow Ochre! Dark Sienna! Cadmium Orange! Van Dyke Brown! Yes, I get all my colors directly from the palette of Bob Ross. I'm gonna need to plan a road trip to see some of these lovely colors in nature. I want to wear scarves and boots! I want to squeal at the sight of red and yellow leaves on a tree! I want my hair to say "hey, thanks for the lovely breeze that allowed me to stay straight all day!" I want to be drunk on pumpkin and my house to smell like we've been brewing apple cider as if our lives depend on it.

My current favorite song is "I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons. I LOVELOVELOVE this band, and am thrilled about their new album coming out later this month. This newest track from them is as close as your ears will ever get to understanding the joy of tasting a Pinterest pumpkin bar recipe. I lovingly dedicate this song to autumn. The Florida weather may think it's still summertime, but I will wait, I will wait for you, autumn!

Look at how wonderful Mumford & Sons is! All boys should wear vests, flannel, casual ties, rock some sweet facial hair and carry around banjos. Right?

Did you realize that "casual ties" is just "casualties" with a space in the middle? Weird. Who knows how words are formed.

Bring on the Fall, y'all.