ENFJ

I don't send food back. Sorry, Gordon Ramsay.

If a hairstylist butchers my haircut, I say "thank you" and leave a nice tip.

If someone is in my way, I usually float around awkwardly and wait for them to move.

If a cashier gets excited when assuming I share her Jewish heritage, I just accept the kosher dill, mutter "shalom" and move on. (True story...thanks to my Hebrew ring)

If someone runs into me in their hurry to get somewhere, it's usually my instinct to apologize.

It is taking me a lifetime to learn how to be able to speak up or simply ask for what I need. As ridiculous as it may seem, it's something my personality type (ENFJ) struggles with. I have a fear of being seen as a jerk, and sometimes take this fear to unhealthy extremes. I'm working on it. I should know by now that having needs, preferences, or a simple comment doesn't make me a drama queen.

Typing out "drama queen" made me realize that my current "need" is Dairy Queen. Cookie Dough Blizzard. What up.

Oddly enough, I find hope in the fact that I used to be MUCH worse. Seriously. I remember falling off the top bunk at camp one night in middle school. First, let me pause for a second to let the hilarity of someone falling off of a bunk bed sink in...and then continue to tell you that I didn't get back in bed that night for fear of waking up my bunk-mate. The beds were squeaky, so I slept on the floor. Concrete CAMP floor. Do you know how many diseases I exposed myself to that night?

Anyhow, all of this to lay the groundwork for this bombshell...recently, I honked at someone. I was sitting in traffic...the light turned green...and the car in front of me didn't move for a solid 5 seconds. Without really having to think about it, I honked! The lady in front of me noticed her mistake and quickly moved. I was instantly proud of myself! How adult of me. How mature of me. Proof of intrapersonal growth, y'all!

We soon came to another red light (same woman still in front of me), so I did what any mature adult would do when reaching a clear milestone in their life. I got my phone out to tweet the following: "I just honked at someone. I'm becoming an adult, one step at a time!" As I was typing, I began to rest my wrists and the phone on the center of my steering wheel when....HOOOOOOOONK!! As it turns out, my car has a SUPER sensitive horn. I looked up and saw the traffic light - still beaming just as red as my face was at that moment. The innocent woman in front of me threw her arms up in that universal sign for "what the heck is wrong with you?" I kept repeating "I am so sorry" (as if she could hear me) and, for some odd reason, touched my hands to the roof of my car...as if keeping them as far away from the steering wheel as was physically possible would reverse the damage.

Oh well. I guess there's no sense in worrying about looking like a jerk if I'm accidentally going to be one anyways.

In other news, the next two weeks of my life are filled with magic and excitement! First, I get to see about a million things that I designed become real at the Quidditch World Cup VI. Then, I'm going to South Korea for no other reason than to satisfy a craving for adventure.

I'm also still craving a that cookie dough blizzard, though.

Shalom.

The Mouse and His Merry Men

Yeah, yeah…I’m awful at updating this blog. Let’s pretend I’m not, and move on.

I love Disney. It has taken me YEARS to realize this. Spending 25+ years never being more than an hour’s drive away from this magical place used to seem so un-magical. In college, I told people that I HATED Disney. HATED. I hate waiting in lines, I hate the sun/humidity, I strongly dislike tourists (from anywhere, so it’s not racist), I hate being overcharged for something that was mass-produced…and I still hate all of these things. What has changed is that I am now a passholder.

I feel like a celebrity, you guys. I practically own a castle.

I can go to Disney whenever I want. This means that I can stop by after work for an hour when the sun is down and all the tourists who smell like the ungodly cocktail of sunscreen and body odor are busy carting their children off to their expensive, rented beds. I don’t have to buy anything, though my experience has taught me what Disney delights are worth it (notably, Nutella and fruit waffle and Dole Whip). I no longer feel the pressure of squeezing $80 worth of fun into a long, sweaty day.

My relationship with Mickey Mouse is in its third year, and we just celebrated Valentine's Day, so...what better way to celebrate these things than to rank my favorite Disney animated men? Ladies 'n gents - I present to you...the top 5 men that I'd date if they weren't made of ink and paper. Such handsome paper.

#5: TARZAN: I’ve already mentioned that I’m not a fan of tropical weather, however, if I’m living with a hottie in a sweet treehouse that he made for us and our pet/sidekick gorilla…bring on the frizzy hair. I would love nothing more than to live like the Swiss Family Robinson (sans man-eating anacondas, clearly).

Does anyone else find it odd that both Tarzan and The Jungle Book feature jazz music? Does the jungle love jazz?

#4: THE BEAST: This one’s always a little sketchy. In my awkward, limited research, I have found that most of us loved him more when he was a beast rather than when he turned into a long-haired, royal French man. There is just something about the Beast that makes him lovable! Something sweet…and almost kind. So, here’s the deal: if you are a stubborn, emotionally scarred man who has lived half of your life as an angry wolf-like animal…BUT you can give me a library…yeah, you can put a ring on it.

Does anyone else realize that he was only 11 years old when the enchantress cursed him for being selfish? Had this enchantress never MET an 11 year old before? Cursing an 11 year old (and hundreds of his innocent servants) for not letting a stranger into his home just might be the biggest overreaction of all time.

#3: LEWIS: I’ve never seen this guy on a list like this before…maybe because he’s not a prince, or maybe because he’s like 12 years old…but I love Lewis (from Meet the Robinsons - a severely underrated film). He is an intelligent, self-starter über nerd with great hair who isn’t scared of adventure! Hello, Crystal’s dreamboat. Let’s be Ravenclaw together.

If you haven't seen Meet the Robinsons, you really really really really need to.  Like, really.

Apparently, I have the skills necessary to write a Taylor Swift song.

#2: ALADDIN / FLYNN RIDER: I know, I know…two completely different films, released almost exactly 18 years apart from each other (holy cow). I'm allowed to cheat at my own game. The thing is, I love these two for the same basic reasons. They’ve got the street smarts. They both can pull off wearing a great vest. They understand the importance of singing a romantic duet under a twinkling night-sky, and they are both SUPER attractive (probably because the voices of these characters are attractive fellas...DJ's boyfriend and Zachary Levi).

Yes, they both steal things for a living. Like my heart. Or bread, jewels, etc...but when you're a diamond in the rough, you're forced to survive how you can until the right girl comes along to make you the future king of her country. That's just how nature works.

Look at those twin smolders!

#1: Get ready to judge me, or at least shift your opinion of my sanity. In my opinion, the most handsome and wonderful of all Disney animated characters is…a fox. No, I mean a literal fox. ROBIN HOOD. His personality, his voice (the tone AND British accent), his chivalry, his trendy love for archery, his love for bunnies and owls, his “fight for justice” mentality…c’mon. He wears my favorite color, and rocks a feather in his hat. His best friend is a bear. And the bushy tail doesn’t hurt, either.

Am I right?