Bears, Dogs and Popcorn

About two weeks ago, I started a new job. I'm excited about it because:

• I like new things. It keeps life exciting. Variety is the spice of life, and I am kind of a Spice Girl.
• It's a new job - but at the same place I've been working - which is my Alma Mater. I love that place. I'm surrounded by people who challenge me to "woman up." (Is that a thing?)
• I'm now getting paid to do what I studied in college - Graphic Design. I think this makes me a rare breed. Who uses those expensive pieces of paper anymore?

Honestly, if I could choose ANY job in the world...I'd either host a show on The Travel Channel or I would be a bear. Ok...I realize "bear" isn't a legitimate career option, but bear with me here. (You see what I did there?) Anything that keeps people from attacking me and allows an annual hibernation fest would be high on my list of desired lifestyles. Not to mention my little sushi obsession. I'm jealous that bears always get the freshest tuna and salmon. Lucky Yogi.

Every new job comes with new challenges. I am incredibly, completely, obstinately non-confrontational. If cutting my leg off makes you more comfortable, then please...pass me the saw. God has been revealing a lot of the dangers of this attitude (other than losing a leg) to me this year...I might talk more about that at another time. For now, it means that I have to learn how to tell someone "NO, you may NOT send out a poster with Word Art from 1997 to promote our college." I'm probably going to hurt people's feelings. People really love ugly things sometimes. I am proud to report that my first (self-assigned) duty as the Director of Communications was to literally BURN a sign on campus that was covered in Comic Sans.

Stop using Comic Sans.

Speaking of sin...(trust me...using Comic Sans is "missing the mark")...sin recently made me nauseous. I heard an unfortunate story about an old friend who is currently dealing with the ramifications of a horrific, is-she-going-to-jail type of sin. To say the situation shocked me would be an understatement. I wanted to throw up...as if the truth of the matter would be expelled and flushed away. This is the first time I can ever remember having an automatic puke response to sin. The more I have thought about it, the more I wonder why I don't always want to puke when I hear of or think about sin. Sin really is barf. I wish I always saw it that way.

Like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly. ~ Proverbs 26:11

Random confession: I LOVE popcorn. So much. I've had this love since I was a kid. I still have my childhood diary on my bookshelf - and yes, I mention popcorn throughout it. I apparently thought it was important to log what I ate every day in my diary (typical chubby kid), and many of my entries end with:

I had popcorn for dinner today. It was a good day.

One of my favorite things in the world is to be sitting in a movie theater with friends and a GIANT bag of popcorn. What DOESN'T make me happy, however, is PAYING for movie theater popcorn. I mean...seriously. How much does it really cost to heat up some seasoned birdseed?! I can just see Colonel Kernel, sitting on his buttery-golden saddle on his popcorn-white high horse, mocking my love of this salty snack. Anyways...a couple weeks ago, I went to see a movie, and dropped some obscene amount of money on popcorn. After the film, I went to the ladies room. While there, I remembered that I was out of toilet paper at home, and no stores would be open on the way home at that hour to replenish my supply. So...I...may or may not have rolled up a mile or two of their toilet paper to stash in my purse. Is that normal? No. Does the movie theater owe me something because of their ridiculous prices?! No................? Clearly, I am a modern-day Robin Hood.

Bears never have to deal with this kind of thing.